Please enjoy this modern parable as part of our Struggles Of The Youth series.
Open Doors
Mark sat quietly alone, the fabric of the church pew soft beneath his hands. He hadn’t been there too long. Service had ended about fifteen minutes earlier, and everyone had since gone outside for the Spring Kickoff picnic. It was an annual event, but Mark had some soul-searching to do.
So, he sat in silence, his gaze fixed on the large oak cross that hung on the wall behind the pulpit and choir chairs. He had seen it his whole life, but it had never really been the focal point of his attention. He was like most other teenagers, rowdy, distracted, and eager to get out of church and back to his video games or phone so he could talk to his girlfriend. But it was because of his girlfriend that he sat, staring at the cross, contemplating what to do.
“There you are, Mark,” an older male voice called from behind him. He hadn’t heard anyone come in, so the person startled him, causing Mark to jump slightly. The man smiled apologetically. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. What are you doing in here? The party’s outside.”
Mark smiled at the older man who now stood beside the pew he was sitting in. “Hey, Pastor Konner. I was just letting everyone else go before I got in line. It gets a little crazy out there.”
Pastor Konnor laughed as the hectic scenes from outside played through his mind. Servers rushing to get the food ready, kids running around and stressing parents out, teens impatient as their stomachs growled.
“That it is, that it is. But the line’s going smoothly. Our hospitality members are used to events like this, so they know how to function even in chaos. Your parents were wondering where you were, and here I find you all by your lonesome. Anything on your mind?”
Mark’s gaze returned to the old cross, a hole gnawing at his chest. “Not really,” he lied, “just spending some time alone.”
Pastor Konnor raised an eyebrow. He had known Mark since he was born, had watched him grow up. He could tell something was bothering the boy but wondered how much he should pry.
The pastor sighed, “Well, if you ever need a listening ear, I’m always here for you, my boy. Nothing too big or too small a problem that God can’t handle. Sometimes it’s just hard to hear His voice. That’s where I try to help out.”
“I’ve been fighting with my girlfriend,” Mark confessed, though not wanting to divulge too many details.
“Ah, troubles of a young heart,” Pastor Konnor smiled softly. “Samantha, right? I’ve heard your parents mention her. What’s going on?”
Mark shifted awkwardly in the pew, “Well, I invited her to church several times, but she refuses to visit. I don’t know what to do.”
The older man studied the youth for a moment, knowing this likely wasn’t the true dilemma the boy was facing. But he decided to go along with where Mark wanted to lead him. “Does she attend another church?”
“No, she isn’t religious at all. Says it’s all just make-believe. I don’t agree with her on that, but it’s like when I try to explain my thoughts and feelings on it, she just dismisses them. Says she has thoughts and feelings, too. I know she does, and it’s not that I don’t get where she’s coming from. She’s threatened to leave if I keep making her unhappy. I know what the Bible says, and it’s not that I don’t want to, I just thought we’d wait…”
Mark froze, eyes widening as he suddenly refused to meet his pastor’s gaze. Pastor Konnor sighed softly and finally sat down, clasping his hands as he unraveled the younger boy’s ramblings.
After a moment, he finally spoke to the younger boy, who seemed too scared to run but desperate to disappear. “I see. It does seem troublesome. But tell me something, does her…desire not to come to church impact yours to come?”
Mark looked confused. “That’s not what I was…”
“The Bible does indeed say that waiting until marriage is best. That coming together is a sacred vow between two people and God. It is not to be done lightly or without thought. There are consequences. You may get left at church and have a difficult time finding someone else to take you home. Or someone else may need a ride with you that you weren’t expecting,” the pastor explained.
The older man finally looked at Mark, though his eyes were fixed on the back of the pew before them. He could tell his face was red, knowing they were on the same page.
“But what if I want to go to church with her? I don’t want to let God down, but sometimes it’s so hard to say no,” the teenager finally admitted.
“God knows you’re trying. And I’m sure He’s proud of you. Life is all about making hard decisions. Some we regret. Some we don’t. Demanding someone to be with you in an intimate way as proof of their feelings isn’t right, though. If someone cares about you, truly cares about you, then your feelings will matter to them. Otherwise, it’s not a relationship with each other, let alone with God involved.”
Mark sat up and finally looked at his pastor, understanding in his eyes. “I see what you mean. I shouldn’t…stay away from church just because she wants to. And she should respect that I want to go to church. That if she can’t, then maybe she isn’t who God wants me to be with.”
Pastor Konnor smiled warmly and placed a hand on the boy’s back. “Sounds like some solid wisdom. Now, how about some peach cobbler?”